Wednesday, April 13, 2005

No safety net... crash or fly, crash or fly...

Well, I done gone and did it. I just gave my notice at PB.

Nothing is really holding me there. I was talking it over with Miss Wolfe this afternoon after the kids ran us nuts during their institutionalized state exams (las Pruebas Puertorrique~nas). And the truth is, every day that I work at night and then turn around and actually make it to school the next day is killer. I like the people there but not enough to where I HAVE to work with them. The money isn't really worth it.

No. The money is not worth it at all.
So I walked in today and gave my notice.

*side bar* Jes, ( who at 5'9 and bout 110 pounds is the thinnest woman I have EVER seen in person. With like a 28 or 30 DD chest. God, bodies like that are the reason fashion magazines have been able to give heavier women complexes for years.), the new manager hired to replace Neli, was like, "you have to bring in a letter. You have to give two weeks." I was like, "Oh, yeah, of course I'm planning on writing a letter. I'm just writing it in the message book so they'll know not to schedule me." Puh-leeze. We'll see if that happens. I dont' want to close any doors, but at the same time, I ain't gotta give no notice, I did that to be nice to PB. Hello~Did anyone else read the line on the paper I signed that said I was signing into at-will employment? Tip to business managers: know of what you speak!*end side bar*

So now I'm back to job hunting, one of those transitional, necessary tasks that make me stronger and my life hell. Like moving. Or apartment and roommate shopping. Or college applications. Has anyone else glommed onto this? I like change... I just hate doing it!

Dag, one of the kids made a hilarious joke that I wanted to put out there, and now I'm forgetting it. This is the other side effect of working more than one full time job. My REM (random event memory) is getting full.

I'm sad about all the changes- I need to go read some poetry or something. Two years ago two years seemed like a lot of time, but now I look back and 2003 doesn't seem two years away, it's like yesterday. I learn this lesson over and over, deeper with every goodbye, and nostalgia still comes back to me. This being a grownup sure ain't what I thought it would be.

I'm scared too- of moving to a city I don't know (AGAIN), of leaving a profession just when I'm used to it, of not having any safety cushion for rough times, of not finding any happiness to soften those times. But since I'm tired of being slightly terrified, I'll put it all back into the bottom of my stomach, pick up my head and move on. Time to find a new job. Time to find out if NYC is right for me. Time to fly.

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