Sunday, July 31, 2005

I'm Leavin, On a Jet Plane

Don't know when I'll be back again...

I'm sad to be leaving but happy that I have a plan for at least the next two weeks.

I went to Borders yesterday to pick up plane reads (I'm SUCH a book freak!) and got 'The Trouble with Islam Today'. I read it all last night. The next time I blog, I'll have to comment on that.

Right now, tho, I have to prepare to rush off to work for the VERY LAST TIME IN PR... in the middle of what looks to be a nasty, nasty lil aguacero. Great.

Good bye, puertorico. I love you.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Mo' betta' duas


I didn't get the SEED job I was hoping for. So it must have not been for me.

However, this means I have a one-way ticket to Ohio and nothing to do to escape the place. No job. This hasn't happened since I was 14 years old, and frankly, I'm scared.

So scared I was crying about it today.

pray pray pray pray pray!


Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Jolie in NYC: May 2005

This lady is all over MSN, b/c she got caught blogging about what she says is an awesome job... in the words of the old spiritual, "everybody talking bout heaven ain't goin there...." in other words, be DISCREET about what you got!

back later

Monday, July 25, 2005

SEED Interview: duas duas duas duas

Peace yall
I just finished an interview with a consultant for the SEED school resident assistant position.

Tough questions, different interview format.

duas duas duas prayers prayers prayers please.

Onnnn another note: I got to work on time yesterday.
Better yet: I didn't want to go, was kvetching the first three or four hours I was there, my boss said I could leave, but I didn't understand her... so I ended up staying and making $70 in an hour.

Wa Allahu Alim.

Sometimes I need to shut up and take the blessing. Ima work on that.

Meanwhile: I have plane tix to buy, a studio apt. to pack up, etc. etc. etc.

I'll talk to y'all later, Lord willin (and the creek don't rise).

peace and happiness

Sunday, July 24, 2005

I don't WANNA go to work!- and Note to UmmZaid

Ok, this is Nafs speaking. I'm sick of being a grownup. I want to be a kid again. I can't stand working and don't want to do it anymore. I want to stay at home and read and clean and read some more.

*sigh* alas, as Muslima I am fighting Nafs and so today Ima pack m'self up and sprint to work as usual.

Hey, UmmZaid... if you read this... if you're not a wordpress user, how are you supposed to make comments on your site? I don't use wordpress... Don't know enough about it... but since I use an internet cafe anyway... what other alternatives are there? I want to shoot my mouth off about everything you say, y'know.

Ah, well, I can always come back here and post, but blogger just aint' as pretty.

I'm off. Really. After just one more article...

Hey, by the way, it looks like I'll be a portareecan for only a week longer. I NEED DUAS! LOTS OF DUAS!

I finally got a call back for the SEED school, they wanted to do a phone interview... those of y'all reading this blog for any 'mount of time (all 2 of y'all) know that SEED is my dream job right now. So pray pray pray, send good vibes, insha'Allah I'll get the job and only be at my parents' house for a week-long visit and not year-long limbo....

peace and love and hardworking happiness,

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Took it again...

And got this:

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 30/100
Constructiveness: 50/100
Leadership: 70/100

You are a SEDL--Sober Emotional Destructive Leader. This makes you a Dictator.

You prefer to control situations, and lack of control makes you physically sick. You feel have responsibility for everyone's welfare, and that you will be blamed when things go wrong. Things do go wrong, and you take it harder than you should.

You rely on the validation and support of others, but you have a secret distrust for people and distaste for their habits and weaknesses that make you keep your distance from them. This makes you very difficult to be with romantically. Still, a level-headed peacemaker can keep you balanced.

Despite your fierce temper and general hot-bloodedness, you have a soft spot for animals and a surprising passion for the arts. Sometimes you would almost rather live by your wits in the wilderness somewhere, if you could bring your books and your sketchbook.

You also have a strange, undeniable sexiness to you. You may go insane.

Of the 138135 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 5.5 % are this type.

Okie doke, so I'm definitely, sober, constructive, and a leader... basically, how I'm feeling determines if I make your life hell or heaven. Nice.

love yall

Me? A politician?

Sister Scorpion: July 2004

I was messin' round in Sis. Leila's archives since I'm procrastinating like a mofo, when I found the quiz. Took it and got these results:

Wackiness: 40/100
Rationality: 48/100
Constructiveness: 82/100
Leadership: 64/100

You are a SECL--Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a Politician.

You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy.

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda--including time to yourself.

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting.

You are very difficult to dislike.

Of the 138132 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 7.4 % are this type.

This is the link.

Too Strong to NOT be a Muslim


My dirty southern roots got ta be showin' now!

I remembered this one just so I could blog it, y'all.

Yesterday I got to work half an hour early, masha'Allah. Incidentally, I ran into one of my students, Mario, with his mother, grandmother, and 3 of 4 sisters on the bus, and it was really nice to see them. I enjoyed talking to them- they're one of the pleasant families I got to deal with last year. I digress as usual.

Anyways, so I get to work, and there's a repeat couple who've been in the restaurant this week a lot. Seems like every time they come in, I serve them. Their names are Mannaka and Heinrig. I think. He's a Ghanaian adopted Dane; she's an American Black. They're models doing fore-work for a modeling show to be held at the Westin Rio Mar later this season. I've got some students who might be in their show, which is a bigole deal and has like the top 5 agencies coming to see.

Anyhow, I was scooping Henrig some gelato and happened to ask him how long he'd been loc'd; he told me two years. I said (admittedly, without thinking- doh!), "Oh, same as me!" He was like, "Oh, let's see then!"... and I was like, oops, sorry, I'm muslim.

Know what he said?

Wait for it...

waiiiit forr iiiit...

he goes, "Oh, no! You're much too strong a woman to be Muslim!".

I was indignantly, politely shocked and offended. He seemed such a reasonable person until that moment. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOO STRONG TO BE MUSLIM?!?! I went on to explain that I'm single, the only muslim in my family, and that he's absolutely right in that I'm way too strong to be oppressed (if you know me, then you know).

But wait, it gets better!

I was doing my weekly Sardy morning talk wit mah Mama, when I recounted this whole story to her. Before I could get to my reaction, you know what she said? Know what my own mama, she who knows my strengths and weaknesses from the womb, guess what my mama said?

"... You know, maybe he's right."

ASTAGHFIRULLAH AL AZIZ. I sputtered for a second there. Doubly indignant. And told her so.

Then she said, "Well, it's not so much the religion as the culture."

Hoo boy.

It is truly a scary thing for me to have been Muslim for six years and have my own mother still thinking around the same stereotypes she had when I started my journey to Islam MORE than six years ago. I don't want to convert my family, I don't. If they don't see the fulfillment possible in Islam, then let them serve God in their own ways. Allahu Alem. BUT. DO learn more about something you know is so important to me. DON'T listen to what I tell you with one ear while it leaves your head out the other. Please. When my family tells me about something that is important to them, I go and find out more about it so I can know what's up with them. It just kills that my parents can't do the same for me. At least Toto and JW know the score. I hope. Now I'm not sure.

Do I really want to stay with them now after this? Am I making it more than it is? I dunno. Islam is important to me. From Qur'an tawhid to salat to marriage to arguing with God and myself so I can get it right. I keep forgetting that people find it hard- darn near impossible- to understand that.

I'm just miffed and indignant and disbelieving about the whole incident- not SO much the guy in the restaurant, as my mother. I don't think I can write coherently about it anymore. I'll probably come back to the topic. Insha'Allah. Holla if ya hear me.


Friday, July 22, 2005

No. I'm really tall. Taller than that.

Another thing, while I'm at it.

I'm severely annoyed with islamic clothing and the fashion industry in general.

I'm really really really tall.


I'm taller than you're thinking.

So PLEASE don't patronize me. Don't suggest that Old Navy has tall size pants. Don't tell me that of course your skirts will hit my ankles. Because I'm nice enough to believe you and then I get mad.


Y'all don't know the stress of trying to dress my long bones modestly and nicely here in PR. The last time I bought dress pants was in DC in 2003. They are still my nice dress pants even though I've worn them at least twice a week for two years. I'm really tall. Really tall. Forty-eight inch inseam tall. And I would like to be able to BUY some nice clothes (I can't sew with no machine, no material, no space and no time...). Is that too much to ask?

Thanks for reading the rant

love me

No gas, no gas, la la la la laaa la

Hey y'all.

Guess what?

The trucksters union has called a strike!

And guess what?

There ain't no gas! That's right! No gas! 700 of about 1400 gas stations CLOSED as of this morning!

Guess what that means!

Means that everybody and their mama's on DA BUS!

So guess what?

TwennyTwo has to haul her booty over to the bus station TWO HOURS before she's due to work! To catch an overcrowded bus!

Yesterday she had to regulate on some youngster who thought he would grope the hindparts with crowding as an excuse! Said youngster barely escaped pulling back a nub instead of a hand...

Ain't happy, people. Ain't happy. Pray fo' me.

(Those of you who have heard me sing 'pray for me', recall the soulfulness of the tune now.)

Need some commentary 'round here, so I hope y'all are doing ok.

peace and love

Thursday, July 21, 2005

KuhNec shuns

I need a job soo bad. Anyone who reads this and wants my resume... I'm multilingual, I love kids, all ages but esp. before 7 and after 11, and have 39 credits toward a masters in education (dang, I didn't realize I had that many...), I've worked in the service industry and in hardcore business, and I can and will move anywhere. And I'm Muslim.
That's important. I was over at UmmZaid's blog this morning reading replies to the whole Islamic Education deal, and realized that part of what's bugging me is that I feel so isolated islamically it's not a joke. I need to be able to nurture my true (muslima) self, and it's not happening here. It can't happen for real for real until I get my act together. I digress as usual.

Yesterday evening at the restaurant was mad wearing. I was already tired when I got there since I've been fighting this sinus-y cold-y thing for bout three or four days. I made good tips, but... it was WEDNESDAY!!! Wednesday evenings are the slowest evenings you can imagine in a restaurant. What gives, yo?!

IIII know what gives... it is time to say HAMDULILAH!

See, the other day I walked into the restaurant and burst into tears b/c I was stressed- I'd just spent the entire morning looking for houses with another girl, but to no effect- she likes an apt. that is more expensive and isn't furnished, and I like a less-expensive one that is furnished and TWO BLOCKS from a school at which I could work. I make allowances for the fact that she has no idear 'bout how life will be when teaching for No money and living somewhere comfy but far from work. Been there done that.

So anyway, did about 5 miles of walking in the heat (wearing a scarf, masha'Allah), wasn't satisfied with the search, and then immediately had to pay $20 for a cab in order to get to the restaurant on time. So when I walked in I wasn't the happiest camper, lemme tell you.

Therefore, tears.

But then I went to wash my face, and before I walked back into work I just made the smallest prayer... it went something like, show me the straight path, help me support myself until everything is clearer.

From that moment on, I've been making double the tips that I would've normally made. If I weren't a believer, I'd say its nuts. But I believe. So I say ALHAMDULILLAH!

Nothing is free, tho- I'm mad mad tired as a result of all the work that led to the tips. Strength. NEed strength. Need a great job to get out of stress-causing debt and be able to marry without worrying about the DEBT load I'd bring into a marriage.

So. I'm calling to all my internet connections. I've been sending out resumes, at least two per day, and working at night. If you wanna see the resume, fine, I can do that. If you have a connection that actually lets me work in a HALAL way, even better!!! Please please please help me get a job!


Haven't had a convo with Nishat in a while. I don't want to say I miss talking to him but I do. Why don't I want to say it? B/c I'm a silly american chickadee who was raised in the whole 'don't let him know you like him, don't hang on him, you don't need/have to have no man' deal.
Plus he's working hard as me, but during the day- and I work at night, so there's absolutely no opportunity to talk. I'm asleep when he's working. He's asleep when I'm working. I respect that he can't be talking to me everyday. That don't mean I don't want to talk to him tho.
It's not that I need him, I can't hang on him cuz I don't know him like that, I don't have to have him, but I liked talking to him. Ok? Ok. can I deal with that. Yes. Ok then.

Right, that was kinda pointless, but if you get it, you got it.

ALEKSA! GET. A. BLOG! I've been meaning to say that for a minute.

aiight I'ma go eat and then leave this neighborhood AN HOUR before I have to enter work so I can get there EARLY for a change. Geesh. I cannot STAND being late and I've done it so much I can't stand myself either. Something has to give. We're back to the jobs thing. All connections... lemme know!

peacepeace peacepeace

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

No drunk dialing... for muslims


Many of you who did not have drinking friends in college (or high school for you really unlucky folk) won't understand this.

That's ok.

The question of the day is, is there such a reprimand as "No drunk dialing" but for Muslims, who don't drink? Like me? IF so, reprimand me. The urge is there. I must resist it.

More later. DOn't want to be late for work ANYMORE!


Saturday, July 16, 2005


Leptiric said...
That'smart- I agree. Love and passion are fleeting. So you should marry Nishat. Especially if your sister approved!
And happy belated birthday! damn, you're old! ;P
have a good weekend,

3:42 PM

Okay, I was surprised to read this... Aleksa, man, I'm Muslim but more modern than that... even though I'm not gonna have sex or 'date' the man, I still need to meet him beFore we marry. Tis not at that stage yet.

Now, yes, I like Nishat. Sounds very cool. We like kinda the same stuff, and he can make me shut up and listen to him. But. This is at the just-beyond-the-beginning-stage of courtship. Don't be scarin' me.

On other things goin' on... marriage and love seem to be catching in my sphere. My girl Kiki called day 'fo'yesterday to say that ERICA'S GETTING MARRIED!!! Yes, folks, Erica P. is engaged to Andrew. This is sooooo cool, because I remember the summer I turned 20, when we were all living in DC, and Erica was going ga-ga over some Navy guy she met with her dad... and I distinctly remember saying something like, "Aww, that's so cute, sounds like he's made for you", and I remember her saying, "It's not like I'm going to marry him!" How time flies. How people change. Erica is definitely was one of my best friends during college. She's VERY INDEPENDENT, athletic, responsible, organized (in ways that I may never be) and fun! In fact... she was the person I sat next to at our graduation. Wow. Feels like yesterday. We've kinda drifted after graduation, though, since we've both done our own thangs... which included me moving to portareeco and her getting a gov'ment job.

If there's anyone who I'd rather see marry Erica, though, it's Andrew- responsible, military, athletic, fun, cultured... all around awesome guy, who put up with my antics when I was living with his girlfriend the summer before senior year. I knew they went well together the first time I saw him with her. He loves her and takes care of her in spite of and because of her independence. I can't say enough nice things about them.

That is just way too cool. That was the first smily-face of the weekend.

The next came today for two reasons: 1) Papa actually called me [as opposed to the other way 'round] and 2)He was calling b/c he ran into Mr. Price at their church!

Mr. Price was my 8th-grade homeroom teacher- I had him for Spanish and for Social Studies (I think it was Ohio studies that year. Whoop-ee.). I may have mentioned him in this blog somewhere, since he was the teacher who told me that I stole a newspaper from his desk when of course I did no such thing. Turns out the paper he took off my desk belonged to my father- since it was a newspaper tied to business, of course Mr. Price had no reason to suspect that I had access to it. He and my father are actually very alike, except that he's a white male (which is actually quite a difference here in the US of A but I digress). Anyway, I chatted with Mr. Price for quite some time.

He told me he's very proud of me, and that he wants me to keep in touch. Actually, I think his words were somewhere along the lines of, "Your becoming a teacher is the best compliment anyone could ever give me." He'd actually stopped by the church and my father happened to be there, picking up my mother, I think, and asked Papa 'bout me and Toto. I halfway can't believe that he remembered us down to our names... but then, I've been told we're hard to forget, in a good way. I have trouble believing that too, until people from the past come back to remind me.

Insha'Allah I'll keep living life in a way that makes me a credit to my teachers. And beautifully unforgettable. It was cool to talk to my 8th grade teacher- reminds me what I do and don't need to do in the classroom with my students, b/c they WILL remember!


I got the new Harry Potter! You should be proud of me- you're reading this post. That means I typed it, instead of burying my head in the book and not coming out until finished. It's not as thick as the last one was, thank goodness- I had to put it on hold while conducting a life on the side until I finished it. Astaghfirullah. I shouldn't get that deep into ANYTHING but praising God but the book is way. too. good!

peace peace love love for you what I like for myself

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

With/About love, from Karine

Karine sent me this.

I definitely agree with the premise that 'love' can't be the basis of a marriage... you can decide to find and lose love way too easily.

The rest... well, ya'll'll discuss it. (Yes, ya'll'll is a word, originating south of the Mason-Dixon along with fin'ta, fixina, and finna, thank you very much...)

A relationships coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake.

Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are
making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Ms.Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love."

I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again: You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone.
You need a lot more.
Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.


Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.

You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life, bottom line-and marry someone who wants the same thing.


Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.


Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test this?

Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular
basis? Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing." So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:

People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.


How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following:
How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as a
waiters, bus boy, taxi driver, etc?
How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you can't do nearly as much for them!

Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.


Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.
As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to
change after marriage ... for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, marriage doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.

It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, [ahem, or looking for a spouse w/o dating] to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your
finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

**EDITED by TwennyTwo 15:35 PM 14 July 2005**

Twenny-Two is now Twenny-Four!

Awwww yeah, baby. the birthday. Alhamdulillah! Sometimes I spent entire days (admittedly, bad ones) thinking of what I'm going to do with THIS day, July 13th.

Today is the only day I can justifiably act like a princess.

I can't do it on my Islamic birthday. It happens to be the 9th of Ramadan. I'm too weak for all that. I do a lot of praying on my hijra birthday.

So far I've gotten a pedicure, eaten cake and Mandy's food, and gone to the beach.

Oh, and I pierced my navel. (!) Now I can take it off my list at www.43things dot com (PLUG. Check it out.)

Thanks to all for the wellwishes! I'm off to be the princess for...six more hours!

love and peace
twennyfour (who can' t believe two years have passed since starting this joint)

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Tom's Page

Awwww man, lookit! I found Tom's Page!

I knew Tom way back when I was a freshman at GW... lost track since the days when we used to hang out in his room with the poster of JLH and Losing Amy cuz it was the coolest (TV, COMP, ANNND a GUITAR! WHo else?). I miss him and am glad to send anyone in need of a contemporary music education over his way... git outta here, I still can't believe i found it.

I'm choosing Nishat for the time being. Wild story: my SISTER happened to be in NYC for a business trip that P&G paid for. (They're coming up in the world- when I took my NY trip it was to this boonie, green, farm town to some plant in the middle of a field, I kid you not. And this one gets to go to NYC? Get it!)

***WAIT. It's like God connected him to me for real. He just called me while I was writing this post. What are the odds???**

Anyway, so Toto was in NYC, and I realized this in time to ask her if she'd go and meet this guy, in a public place of course, and tell me if the voice on the other end of the phone belonged to a really great guy like I thought or if it was yet another creep in sheep's clothing.
She called me back gushing:" Ohhh Sister, he's sooo nice! I like him!"
"Yeah?", I shrieked, "What's he like?"
"He's really sweet, and he listens a lot. And he's taller than me, so he's about your height. And he was wearing these cute sunglasses. I was surprised. I still can't say his name though."

"And sister, what is this about he doesn't know how you look!!? You have to send him your picture. And he has to send you his. He's really cute! Really cute. Yeah, I like him a lot. He offered to carry my bags and everything."
THEN she comes out with some, "You can't tell him I said that, though! Tell him I hated his guts and thought he was completely inappropriate for you."

Huh? "I'm not going to do that! You just said you really liked him! Why lie? You're gonna scare him off!"
"I don't want to make it too easy," she replied, smirking, "I really could see him with you, so I don't want to make it too easy to be my brother-in-law. I'm only gonna have one, you know."

Yeah, I know. Being that I'm the one who gets to choose, here.

That's a synopsis, but pretty accurate. I'm so glad I thought of having her meet him, esp. since Abeer is getting REALLY busy these days, since they're about to move to Palestine. They'd have gone today, but the kids' passports didn't arrive on time (boo boo boo!). My sister is an excellent judge of men, which came in handy. I'm better at women, for whatever reason. Anyway. I shouldn't judge as much. Astaghfirullah.

Still, I left that whole convo definitely cheered... and on reflection, more faithful in God to pull things out for those who believe.

SO yeah... no more Usman. No more nobody. Ima get to know Nishat, insha'Allah. let's see where this goes...

peace peace peace peace submission for more peace

Monday, July 11, 2005


Salaams people, I feel so good that I had to start today by spreading the peace.
(This is opposed to yesterday, where I actually left work early b/c of a splitting, nauseating, dizzying migraine headache. 'Hamdulillah, tis gone but it was a doozy.)

I was walkin' around at MSN today and found this great article that asked women about their favorite mantras, or sayings of inspiration. I liked it. Go check it out. I gen'rally skip MSN articles but sometimes their 'Women' or 'Family' sections have good stuff.

back later

peace and love

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Nishat and Usman

Ok. So. I told y'all sometime back that I began 'The Great Husband Search' a couple weeks ago.

I met a couple people on Began emailing back and forth. Abeer sees enails back and forth 'cuz I send them to her, because I want to be as 'aboveboard' as possible with all this. This is gonna be my marriage, after all.

ANYhoo, I'm down to two people I really really want to know more about: Nishat and Usman. This is weird. I feel like I'm an HR rep trying to fill a SUPER important job position! Hmm.

Anyway, I started speaking to Nishat on the phone the other day. We talked for about an hour about random junk. I don't want to get too detailed. But since this blog is like an online memoir-in-process, I had to mention it. He sounds like an awesome person, and his family is similar to mine in lots of ways. He's (east)Indian by ethnicity and really tall. And he's my age, about to finish his degree. And he writes really well. That's attractive. But then, y'all know me, I'm a freak for a beautifully assembled piece of prose.

I think I should mention that most of the people on the marriage site come across to me as... well... unintelligent b/c of their writing level. And I'm sticking with sites for two reasons: height (I know my Mama told me that the man I marry will be short, but I'm still looking up. Literally.) and writing style. Does your site have a lot of description? Do you talk clearly about yourself? Do you show you're passionate about the deen and about changing the world? Good, then I'm interested. But WOW, so few men out there are like that, which is why my tidbit self is still single. (Astaghfirullah for my immodesty...)

Usman, on the other hand, was really bold and emailed me w/o my permission, during the day I had my email up on the site. Mad people started emailing me from nothing, so I took it off. Luckily for him, he wrote me such a lucid and engaging email that I kept it around, showed it to Abeer. She's much more impressed with Usman, partially b/c of his age (he's got about 10 years on me) and partially b/c he's so... I dunno. I understand why, though. He's just revealed that he's short, tho, and he says he found me when he put the word 'convert' into the search engine... OHHH no. Wanna know why I'm wary of that? See Umm Zaid's latest treatise on Muslimaats and Marriage. People who look for converts can tend to do so b/c we're more 'naiive' about the whole marriage process and Islam in general. I'm not saying Usman is like that, and in fact I find him attractive too, but. Hmm.

This is something my mama would talk me through, I think, were she Muslim and interested in doing so for me. She's not. She's totally Christian and secular and American when it comes to marriage, and so even tho she's guiding me by her traditional 3 questions (Is it Moral? Is it Ethical? Is it Legal?) that have been my principles for life, finding a husband for her daughter, the whole 'Great Husband Search' in general, is out of her realm of experience. She married my father b/c she loves him (and, lets admit, b/c lil miss twennytwo was on the way. we don't talk about that tho. Shh.) so is more open to dating and the like than I am. She thinks I won't find anyone unless I "Open up and go out with a few people". I feel like... wow, I'm more conservative than my mother, when on Earth did that happen?

Anyway. If someone else pops up on the 'TGHS' radar, well, y'all will hear about it.


Interview went great!

I think I mentioned whilst blogging yesterday (isn't that sooo cool? putting a really really old and a really really new word together? I'm such a word nerd. I digress) that I had an interview at UBS yesterday, set up by Mariannette over at SAPIENTIS. It was actually one of the last things she did before she left the org at the end of June.

Well, I enjoyed the interview, a LOT! I met with two VP's, and we had great conversation. Turns out that since they'd invested in Sapientis, they wanted to meet with members of the first group of graduates. I gave them a copy of my new, improved resume (thanks to my sissur, Toto, who whupped it and me into shape hours before the interview) and we talked a bit about what my major was, etc. Then we got into my Sapientis I was pleased when the male of the two said, "I don't think anyone has stated the point of Sapientis as clearly as you do. I think you really get it and can say it best." Awesome compliment. I almost blushed, imaginate.

Thing was, though, that the whole 'interview' started off with the comment that there probably weren't any places for me in the company. Boo boo boo. Back to the chopping block. I've got to get a (real) (paying) job soon. And b/c of my quite unique experience, I'm now working at a job (waitress) where I'm waaay over qualified, and can't get a job anywhere else b/c either my experience isn't quite right or, again, I'm overqualified. AudhuBillah.

think of me people.

love love love love peace peace peace

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

What blog was that again?


I'm sooo frustrated.

I was reading a great blog the other day. I can tell you about it. It was written by a sister who is 26, and married, living in the middle east. The first entry I read was going on about how the sister was upset that, since she was from the South, everyone assumed that she'd run into rampant racism there. The other was an adaptation of the 'Gift of the Magi', where she changed it to a story involving the hose we use to clean after eliminating... anyway, I want to find it, and I can't!

if you know which blog that is, please put me outta my misery, thanks. I love a good read. And I really can't stand missing out on one.


Independence can be fun...

Happy Independence to those of you out there who are US citizens.

I had fun yesterday all by myself: ate some good food, went to the movies. (For those interested, I saw 'Crash' again, and I think it's a shame that more people haven't seen it yet. I'm not recommending it for Muslims though; there was some nudity in there that didn't faze my american self [I forgot about it the first time I commented on the movie, in fact] but...)

Today, ma'shAllah, I FINALLY came down to Guayama; I'm here now in la casa de la juventud, an awesome community center run by the gov't for people aged 13-29. I have a license again! WoooHOOOO!

Yeah, so about the 'husband search'. I've been meaning to get to that for some time.

Aiight, so as an American, it can sound quite ridiculous to be like, "Ok, I'm old, unmarried, and finally got my degree. It's time to start the husband search." In fact, most unmarried american guys upon hearing this out of a woman's mouth start to head for the hills. They want to DATE. Everyone expects someone my age who is "looking" to also be "dating".

But I've never really been down with the whole dating thing. I've been on exactly one date (meaning alone went out with a man; that means prom doesn't count. And anyway, I went to prom in a group.): the man involved knows who he is, and we ended up just friends because I wasn't down with the whole dating thing. I don't even know where he is anymore. Last I heard he was teaching in the UK somewhere, happily esconced (sp?) with his Iranian girlfriend.

On a personal level, both before and after shahada, I've not liked the idea of dating because I've never seen it withOUT the connotation of sex and/or intimacy implied with it. It's like, if you say "I'm dating this guy", there's nothing to say that you haven't slept with him or that you're not going to. Also, since I tend to judge people quickly as far as friendship/social relationships go, I'm pretty sure I'd attach myself to whatever men I would date rather quickly and then be devastated by any breakup. The one and only time I've had to reject a best friend of mine was traumatic. I still cry sometimes when I think about it.

SO: lucky for me, Islam provides the great husband search as a way out.

I should point out that I'm not being entirely orthodox about this, but still better than some, who go ahead and date with no problems. I digress.

As a convert, I find a 'wali', or a male older stand-in for my paternal or maternal uncles, who then go around looking for a man who has a suitable appearance, job, family, education, etc. He then talks to the boy's family and to me. If I like him, we talk about my dowry (another topic altogether), when we'd get married, what each family'd provide for the nikkah, etc.
My potential husband's mothers and sisters would come meet me, and if we're both progressive, we might go out in groups with chaperones to get to know each other. Some really lucky people I know met in MSA groups at GW and G-town, and got married, without all the family in it... trust me, they were better chaperoned than if their families had been there.

Anyway, after all that we'd have a nikkah ceremony and get married.

I told you all a while back that Tio, Abeer's uncle, had started all that process for me, but then he was murdered (may God keep him, forgive him, and show him peace in Paradise). So I've started my own search by putting my profile online at various sites. Abeer is helping me with the search, and Mahmoud would be my official wali.

ok, gotta go. We're hungry. More later.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

A little Change will do me good...

Hi People,

It's July already, mashallah. I still have no idea what I'm going to be doing in August... oh well.

I've really been getting into the whole internet-search-for-a-husband thing, since I just don't like the community here enough to find a husband here. Wahabiis, yich yich yich.

Astaghfirullah, I just looked at the clock and realized that I'm going to be waaaay late for work. I'll have to continue this later.