Monday, March 19, 2007

What does it look like?

What does a cry for help look like?

Poor performance at work?

Staying out of contact with friends and family?

Sudden quitting on the job?

Is it the homeless person on the street?

Or the girl sitting next to you with the vacant stare?

Or the man who can't sit still?

What does it look like?

What if you see it? What will you do?

What if you make one? Do you get through?

What does it look like?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

"Everyday is a great day"


I'm still alive, alHamdulIllah. Shabana made a comment that this American enthusiasm is such a great thing.... Shoot, don't you know I'm frontin' hard din' a mug?** I've been pretty down, but on those days I just don't write. I figured out some time ago that for whatever reason, I've got to be more self reliant and others take my kvetching as complaining instead of venting. *sigh*. So much for blogging being a release. That's a topic that comes up kinda often around the Isblogosphere, huh? Funny how sometimes I care and others I don't give a blip.

I have a friend who replies, "Alhamdulillah. Every day is a great day" whenever I ask how she's doing. It ALWAYS catches me off guard- because of how rote it is, yet unexpected. And true. I think I'm'a steal that line. All of the death and destruction of the past years need to serve as my reminder every single day.

I've got that second job I prayed so hard for, Alhamdulillah, and it's kicking my butt. I do like it though, and it's a great change from sitting all day to hauling and restocking groceries all night. I've lost another 5 lbs already, mashaAllah! The people are all nice, and normal; not a lot of teeny boppers work the night shift, which is when I work. The store is in Old Town, so let me know if you're headed that way and I'll tell you where. Lord knows I'd love to see even more friendly faces.

My day job... requires lots and lots of dua's. I'm at work and further just am too weary of the situation to go into it, but I'm so serious: I'm looking for another full-time professional position, so let a sister know if you know of one in the inside-395 DC area. ( Don't you love my specifics? I'm making istikhara on this one- hey, if I got one job that way...God always provides, wa Allahu Alim.)


* *(sorry, that means "I'm working hard on putting on a great face", for those who didn't grow up code-switching between English, Southern, and Ghettospeak.)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Yeah, it's a lot...


I went down the list of things that I did in the past 48-hour period yesterday with one of my friends.

And she said (bug-eyed) "Wow, isn't that a lot? How are you going to do it?"

Fiimanillah. Because around about 8 PM last night I was ready to throw a tantrum worthy of a two-year old.

Amongst other things, I moved with the help of my uncle, and I began a training. I'm gonna get screamed on for my mistakes in the training.

I was sitting in the (expensive Zip)car when I realized that through all of this, when everything is hectic, I'm content. I'm nuts, but I know what's going on, I can prioritize more easily. Turning to God is the easiest of all now.... I might just be a borderline adrenaline junkie, thus why I enjoyed EMT training so much and why I want to be a nurse. It's just something to think about.

Yeah, it's a lot, but I think I need a lot in order to do well. Hmm.