Sunday, November 27, 2005

I'm here, I'm here

peace, y'all

I'm still here, I'm still kicking. Alhamdul Illah.

I'm just one busy somebody.

I've started with the job search again, since it looks like EN is cutting my hours for December. Flip that. I need to have a full time position again. We shall see.

Also, I've started in with my planner again. Been a year since I had one. I started thinking about it... and yes, the last time I felt well and truly productive was back a year ago, when I was whippin out grad-school applications and such. And back then, I had my planner together. Since I never did find the Franclin (misspelled on purple, thanks) Covy store in PR altho I assume it's there, I went for almost one whole entire year without one. That stuff is crucial. I'm already feeling more balanced and in control.

Yes, I know tis all an illusion but this particular illusion is helpful, so I'm keepin it.

I hope everyone had a wonderfulishious Turkey Day. Mine was peaceful and blah. I felt slightly uncomfy, due to things I shall discuss later, but it was about what I'd hoped for. BACK TO THE DIET! Tell me why I made two sweet potato pies and why they were SLAMMIN? Tell me why I almost ate one whole one myself? Ohhhh the joy and the misery.

Plans for the End Of December (I'm still coming up with something I can call that, so right now EOD suffices) are still in the air.
Nishat is graduating, insha'Allah, on Dec. 26th. I'd like to be there, but that would involve some actual communication between the two of us so that I can make necessary arrangements. Money gets funny really quick when you're trying to arrange ANY transportation to or through the Big Apple during the EOD. Meanwhile the poor guy is just working to get OUT of school. We shall see.

My mother is having that surgery that had to be postponed earlier in the next couple of weeks, so pray, please pray. I realize that I'm at the age where people start to lose their parents; two of my girlfriends' parents- one's mother, another's father- died within days of each other at the end of October, though I didn't realize it at the time. Scary stuff. So I'm praying accordingly (Mama's phrase).

I keep saying this, because every little connection counts: if you hear of an administrative or Bilingual (spanish-english) or International Whatever position coming open for the new year, PLEASE let me know. Insha'Allah my full time position is coming soon, because the whole 3 jobs scenario ain't kickin' it. I'm mad tired and have little time for things like writing on my blog, etc.

Reach out and hug someone you love.


Sunday, November 20, 2005

A Modern Muslim Man

Check it out on HU Islam

Oohhhh yes. The question of a good man has been on my mind more than once this year. Go check it out on the site. Excellent, excellent. Ya'll better get it!


Qur'anic way of life

peace, ya'll
Normally I don't post stuff like this. I got it from the LADO email. Thanks to the sister who posted it. Gave me much to think about, although I generally don't do formulaic faith.


Quranic Way of Life

Some of the lessons learnt from Quran that apply to our general living!

1. Respect and honour all human beings irrespective of their religion,
colour, race, sex, language, status, property, birth, profession/job
and so on [17/70]

2. Talk straight, to the point, without any ambiguity or deception

3. Choose best words to speak and say them in the best possible way
[17/53, 2/83]

4. Do not shout. Speak politely keeping your voice low. [31/19]

5. Always speak the truth. Shun words that are deceitful and
ostentatious [22/30]

6. Do not confound truth with falsehood [2/42]

7. Say with your mouth what is in your heart [3/167]

8. Speak in a civilised manner in a language that is recognised by the
society and is commonly used [4/5]

9. When you voice an opinion, be just, even if it is against a
relative [6/152]

10. Do not be a bragging boaster [31/18]

11. Do not talk, listen or do anything vain [23/3, 28/55]

12. Do not participate in any paltry. If you pass near a futile play,
then pass by with dignity [25/72]

13. Do not verge upon any immodesty or lewdness whether surreptitious
or overt [6/151].

14. If, unintentionally, any misconduct occurs by you, then correct
yourself expeditiously [3/134].

15. Do not be contemptuous or arrogant with people [31/18]

16. Do not walk haughtily or with conceit [17/37, 31/18]

17. Be moderate in thy pace [31/19]

18. Walk with humility and sedateness [25/63]

19. Keep your gazes lowered devoid of any lecherous leers and
salacious stares [24/30-31, 40/19].

20. If you do not have complete knowledge about anything, better keep
your mouth shut. You might think that speaking about something without
full knowledge is a trivial matter. But it might have grave
consequences [24/15-16]

21. When you hear something malicious about someone, keep a favourable
view about him/her until you attain full knowledge about the matter.
Consider others innocent until they are proven guilty with solid and
truthful evidence [24/12-13]

22. Ascertain the truth of any news, lest you smite someone in
ignorance and afterwards repent of what you did [49/6]

23. Do not follow blindly any information of which you have no direct
knowledge. (Using your faculties of perception and conception) you
must verify it for yourself. In the Court of your Lord, you will be
held accountable for your hearing, sight, and the faculty of reasoning

24. Never think that you have reached the final stage of knowledge and
nobody knows more than yourself. Remember! Above everyone endowed with
knowledge is another endowed with more knowledge [12/76]. Even the
Prophet [p.b.u.h]
was asked to keep praying, "O My sustainer! Advance
me in knowledge." [20:114]

25. The believers are but a single Brotherhood. Live like members of
one family, brothers and sisters unto one another [49/10].

26. Do not make mockery of others or ridicule others [49/11]

27. Do not defame others [49/11]

28. Do not insult others by nicknames [49/11]

29. Avoid suspicion and guesswork. Suspicion and guesswork might
deplete your communal energy [49/12]

30. Spy not upon one another [49/12]

31. Do not backbite one another [49/12]

32. When you meet each other, offer good wishes and blessings for
safety. One who conveys to you a message of safety and security and
also when a courteous greeting is offered to you, meet it with a
greeting still more courteous or (at least) of equal courtesy [4/86]

33. When you enter your own home or the home of somebody else,
compliment the inmates [24/61]

34. Do not enter houses other than your own until you have sought
permission; and then greet the inmates and wish them a life of
blessing, purity and pleasure [24/27]

35. Treat kindly Your parents, Relatives, The orphans
" And those who have been left alone in the society [4/36]

36. Take care of the needy, the disabled, those whose hard earned
income is
insufficient to meet their needs, And those whose businesses have
stalled, And
those who have lost their jobs. [4/36]

37. Treat kindly Your related neighbours, and unrelated neighbours,
Companions by your side in public gatherings, or public transportation.

38. Be generous to the needy wayfarer, the homeless son of the street,
and the one who reaches you in a destitute condition [4/36]

39. Be nice to people who work under your care. [4/36]

40. Do not follow up what you have given to others to afflict them
with reminders of your generosity [2/262].

41. Do not expect a return for your good behaviour, not even thanks

42. Cooperate with one another in good deeds and do not cooperate with
others in evil and bad matters [5/2]

43. Do no try to impress people on account of self-proclaimed virtues

44. You should enjoin right conduct on others but mend your own ways
first. Actions speak louder than words. You must first practice good
deeds yourself, then preach [2/44]

45. Correct yourself and your families first [before trying to correct
others] [66/6]

46. Pardon gracefully if anyone among you who commits a bad deed out
of ignorance, and then repents and amends [6/54, 3/134]

47. Divert and sublimate your anger and potentially virulent emotions
to creative energy, and become a source of tranquillity and comfort to
people [3/134]

48. Call people to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful
exhortation. Reason with them most decently [16/125]

49. Leave to themselves those who do not give any importance to the
Divine code and have adopted and consider it as mere play and
amusement [6/70]

50. Sit not in the company of those who ridicule Divine Law unless
they engage in some other conversation [4/140]

51. Do not be jealous of those who are blessed [4/54]

52. In your collective life, make room for others [58/11]

53. When invited to dine, Go at the appointed time. Do not arrive too
early to wait for the preparation of meal or linger after eating to
engage in bootless babble. Such things may cause inconvenience to the
host [33/53]

54. Eat and drink [what is lawful] in moderation [7/31].

55. Do not squander your wealth senselessly [17/26]

56. Fulfil your promises and commitments [17/34]

57. Keep yourself clean, pure [9/108, 4/43, 5/6].

58. Dress-up in agreeable attire and adorn yourself with exquisite
character from inside out [7/26]

59. Seek your provision only by fair endeavour [29/17, 2/188]

60. Do not devour the wealth and property of others unjustly, nor
bribe the officials or the judges to deprive others of their
possessions [2/188]

Monday, November 14, 2005

Stuck in my head

peace, y'all

Ignore this, I just had to put it out there...

know what keeps going through my head?

Hearing the guys the other night go "UpSIIIII" "IIIII-Lon!"

which is the call for LUL and something I've grown fond of hearing and then hearing at the end....

"Do it!" in this pipsqueak voice...

I guess you had to be there.

Also is it me or do the calls for SLU and LPC sound mad similar?

*Smirk* after all this commentary I guess i'm deciding not to try for greek status anymore. Probably. I think. I think that's what this post is about. Hmm. Yeah.


Sunday, November 13, 2005

Cartoon Oh No They Didn't...

I'm blogging this b/c the tv right next to me happened to be on Fox while I was reading... so this cartoon show, I think it's family guy, is airing an obnoxious, ridiculous song against Saudi Arabia. The (blond) woman starts out in pink hijab and ends up dancing through the streets, stripping to black lingerie. On the way she flips up her skirt, and the cartoon shows men standing on top of three muhejebahs.

Oh No They Didn't.

I'm not saying I agree with some of the official policies toward women in Saudi, cuz I definitely don't. But cartoons like that only perpetuate harmful and wrong images of Arabia and Muslims. Get some flippin taste, people.

I'm okay.

peace, y'all

One of the things I'm working within myself is maturity; emotional and social. My body may be mature but all of my recent dealings with my family and social situations are letting me know that I have some work to do. Last night I was in serious danger of acting stupid and young, and I didn't, so I'm proud of myself. There was a point where I thought of a lot of stuff that is now in the past and was feeling the pain.

I'm okay, though.

Yesterday evening I went to a party at my alma mater. The plan (which has worked so far) was to go to the party, and then stay in the city since my aunt's house in suburbialand is too far and too expensive to reach after the party ended. So I crashed at Emmy's place.

Those of you who are regular readers/ know me/ care to read through the archives to find out will know that I have a certain... high regard for a given sorority. That sorority and another I happen to have loathed at one point in my life, and two other fraternities, were throwing the party last night. That's how I found out about it; one of the guys (a freshman when I left college, wow) is now a senior and invited me. Those are the circles I moved in when I was younger and in college. I'm actually close with a lot of guys in one of the fraternities which is how both of the above named sororities came to my attention. This is all the background. Anyway.

Emmy was actually apprehensive about going b/c she has also had drama in the past with people who are going to be there. And she, unlike me, operates in a drama-free zone, so going with her was actually iffy. I'm glad she ended up going b/c she saw what went down and she helped me talk my reactions out later. Otherwise I would've had a cigarette last night. Yup. That's how stressed I got. And I wasn't anticipating that...*deep breath*

Eddie was there. It's hard for me to admit that I've never before or since made a fool of myself over any man the way I did over Eddie. I can chalk it up to youth... and that's what I want to do... but anyway. Eddie was a mover and shaker on campus when I arrived; part of my regular crew when I got there. He's four years older than I am, so it was a good friend/role model/confidant thing. He graduated after my freshman year but then completed his master's degree at the school in a year.

Yeah, y'all can guess what happened. I crushed hard. Eddie saw that and proceeded to back away. I think I needed to hear him say that he wasn't interested, and he never did, but anyway, mad drama ensued since we're part of the same crew... Lots of hurt feelings and 'run tell dat' goin' on. Ech. I look now and I can see the nafs nafs nafs running through the whole episode. But then all I knew was that I was being hurt twice; once by his rejection and twice by his withdrawal from me as a friend. It was hard to take and I acted really immature; I'm not proud of it. Anyway.

Last time I saw Eddie at "Noche", an event toward the end of my senior year, we left things pretty badly. I say we b/c there was active action on his part; he was in town for almost a week and I saw him several times and we managed to say three words to each other. I think he thought I hated him or would hate him if he said what was on his mind. Me? I'm sure he thought that way because I was hurt. This is someone who is my best friend yet can't manage now to speak to me. He was there with his girl and I found that out through someone else. Hard to be happy for your friend when you see that he's deliberately keeping things from you. Even if you do know that his intention is to avoid hurting your feelings. Okay. So fast forward to last night, almost three years later.

Since I felt slightly weird about this party (I mean, I'm twennyfour years old, what the shadoozy am I doing at a college party?) and so did Emmy and she graduated pretty recently, then of course I wasn't expecting a lot of people older than me to be there. I was just going to dance to the salsa and merengue that I miss SOOOO MUCH from Puerto Rico. So imagine, I scanned the crowd and... Eddie was there. But so were a lot of other people who were uneasy blasts from the past; members of both of the sororities I've mentioned, who were very close to me at some point. I will be honest on this blog and say that there was a point where I felt that both of these organizations owed me something because they came out better for their associations with me, but that's not true now. I understand a little bit better what went down. I know that my efforts allowed one of them to be established on campus in the first place, but I also know that no one owes me anything, and that that feeling of entitlement was causing drama and keeping me from growing. So while last night I did get to dance and shake my booty, I also got on a maturity tip and actually hugged people I thought at one point I'd as soon spit upon. And had several people walk up to me and say hello and be glad that I was there. As Emmy said during the obligatory rehash, "I was never made to feel unwelcome. And there was definitely drama there before. But I felt okay." I'm okay. So I really give thanks (AlHamdulIllah) for that opening of spirits on all sides. At a party no less. Hmmph. Who woulda thought.

Eddie walked up to me last night and said hello, and we did the whole cheek kiss thang and the big hug and sway thing and I said, "Como tu 'tas?" and his reply was a sincere, "Bien". And because there was an initiate of Omega Phi Beta doing her thang at that point, we didn't say much else. There was no need to; no hate, no drama on either part. I got beyond that first shock of pain and remembering allll that went down, and by the time he said hey, I was okay.

I dunno; he may just be the friend that got away, I might only see him once or twice if ever again, and we will not be the same close friends as we were my freshman year. What came out of last night for me was that that's okay. I'm not holding it against him and I'm not holding anything against myself. Relationships aren't always going to be about me or what I did or what I'm owed. And from my shocky reaction, I know that I still have some work to do on myself and my emotional attachments et cetera.

But I'm okay. I'm okay... I really truly am going to be okay.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Eid Mubarak

assalamu alaikum to all... Eid Mubarak!

I'm so sad the month is over... I want more! Really.

I didn't feel like writing much today, but at the same time I've had this entire post running in my head on thankfulness. See, my great-grandmother, G'Mama, is here from her almost-tropical home state. She's a Geechee Gullah. (our family is from Edisto Island. Go look it up.) And she's 90 years old. My aunt invited her up (for various reasons I shall not get into just now), so it was kinda unexpected for me. But I'm glad she's here and glad I have the time to spend with her.

I enjoy sitting and talking (or listening, really) to her. I enjoy fixing her breakfast and listening to her running commentary while she watches TV. (You should hear her talk about the President... better than any comedy act, I promise.) I just let her feisty kind of patience and wisdom wash over me. I'm sooo thankful to Allah swt for letting me have my entire life to this point with her not only alive but well, kicking, and tellin' it like it is. To hear and see her you just would not guess that she's 90 years old. At all. SubhanAllah. She's hilarious and has opinions but at the same time just isn't malicious. What I'm so incredulous about is that... I like her. As a person. Not only do I respect her (as I should) but the respect and the liking is sincere. She'd have been one of my best friends had she been about sixty years younger, I think. Thank You, God.

Two days ago she fell while leaving my aunt's split-level living room and my heart just 'bout stopped. She walks and gets around so well- better than her daughter in law, my grandmother, in fact- that it's easy to forget just how old she is. She didn't even want any help getting up, masha'Allah. I told you she's still kicking. Thank You, God.

Seeing her talk to my 9-year old cousin just as she talked to me made me think about the future. I hope, I pray, that she stays here long enough to influence my kids the way she has me... and my mother's generation. Insha'Allah.

And one of the kickers in my mind is that my whole family, those of us who are her descendants, almost didn't happen. She's the mother of my mother's father; my grandfather was born when she was 17 and unmarried. Though she eventually did marry, she never had any other children, and in fact my grandfather was raised for much of his childhood by his grandmother. Yet this was in a day and time when a chain of teenaged parents wasn't established, and abortion wasn't condoned... imagine if she was that teen parent today. Thank You, God for Your hand in things.

Anyway, I'm off to various things today. Eid Mubarak for those of you who are Muslims... and everyone, hug someone you love and tell them just why you appreciate them.