It's Ramadan! Yay! I await this month every year with sooooo much hope. That squirming anticipation. No, really. I love Ramadan.
I think it's the challenge of it. The feeling of growing closer to the One, plus the accomplishment of serving him with my fast.
It's not really the social stuff because I seem to be socially isolated every year since I left GW around Ramadan. Boo.
But this is the first year I'm fasting while working somewhere I LOVE, masha'Allah! And it's great!... Except that the people are nice here.
My boss (who'll be leaving soon, he's already packed up his things, I'm sad but I digress) has had to make me eat in the past. This is because I'll be all focused on my work or whatever and just forget to eat. Then I turn into a very polite crankypot. And he found out early on that the way to turn me back into non-spinning-head-fire-breathing-Twenny was to ORDER me out of the office to get food, order it for me, or otherwise force me to focus on nothing but food.
So, Boss has had to quit doing that. He's such a nice guy that he keeps coming into the office at 'lunchtime' and being like, "I'm going for food, d'you,... oh, wait. Never mind."
At which point I say sweetly, "Buen provecho" (enjoy your meal) and let it pass.
Today they have Dunkin Donuts. Sitting on the desk across from me. I cannot leave. The donuts may have to go in the trash. This is the challenge for me.
For the past hour and a half (at least) I've been telling myself allllll the reasons I fast. That I'm leaving my urges for the Sake of Allah. That the smell of my breath is sweeter than musk to Allah right now. That hellfire is not worth a donut that will undermine all my efforts to slim down on top of breaking my fast. Oh, help.
Insha'llah just 2 hours and change to go.