Wow, just as I wrote the below post, the next day my grandmother went back into the hospital. I got a call from my mother saying she was flying down, and that grandma is in intensive care. Scary scary. I find myself reaching for God not for myself but for my mother and her sisters and my grandfather.
please make Du'a that Allah's will be done in this. I want her to recover but I also don't want her to suffer. Does that make sense?