Friday, February 09, 2007

Gratitude. Gratitude. Gratitude.


Okay, so I have issues.

I didn't realize this until I had a panic attack after speaking to my father when he called my job, because he asked me, "How many jobs do you have?"

Because he called me at work.
Because he's in town.
Because he wants to see me.
Because I (only) have one job.
Because I'm nearly out of money.
Because he wants to come to my house.
Because I don't know how I'm going to move from one house to another without any money.
Because I need to be able to leave this job after experiencing the harrassment of the other day.
Because. Just because.

Panic attack. I'm talking racing heart, funny stomach pit, shaking fingers panic attack.

So I've decided to turn this around:

I'm grateful to the One true God, the Most High, the Provider.

I'm grateful that I have a job.
I'm grateful that I have telephone access at my job.
I'm grateful that my father is alive to call me.
I'm grateful that my father wants to see me and loves me.
I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to see my father when he lives 600 miles away.
I'm grateful that I can work more than one job.
I'm grateful that I'm open to take any evening or work job I can.
I'm grateful that I have access to a computer to "talk" myself out of panicking when nothing else is available.
I'm grateful that I'll have choices when it comes to housing. InshaAllah.

I'm grateful there's always tomorrow to look forward to; even when things are getting worse they'll eventually be better. SubhanAllah.



  1. whoa. a lot to deal with. a lot to be grateful for. a lot to look back at one day and see it wasn't as bad as the worst.

    but a lot to deal with.

    duas coming your way. watch out.

  2. You have a lot to deal with but a lot to be grateful for too. Try not to worry, a rainbow is on the horizon. I'm sure of it. You just have to get there. In the meantime, I'll be making dua for you.