FaSulli li Rabbika w AnHar

assalamu alaikum,

I made it! We are two days into winter break already. And alhamdulillah, everyone is still alive.

I made a few simple goals for this break; since I knew I wasn't going to camp I'd have the time... the only thing I had set in stone was dinner today with my great-aunt.

Which we might end up late for.

Because I'm dragging my feet.

And not because I dislike my relatives, either. It's actually a conflict of fiqh on my part. You know, celebrating Christmas versus honoring ties with relatives, even if they are of different faith. But anyway.


So, the things on the list?:

-Go to the gym for 2.5 hours (or 650 calories) daily (every day it's open). This is in prep for the Flying Pig Half Marathon. And if it's called the Flying Pig, InshaAllah I'll actually be running it!

-Toss my very broken bed and move in a new frame.

-Sew the pants pattern and cloth I've had sitting for 2 years; if it isn't begun by 4 January the whole thing goes to charity inshaAllah.

-Tidy up my room.

See? Fairly simple things to do. InshaAllah I'll have time to do some (paper) journaling, cook some lunches and suppers ahead, and study microbio (so far I'm doing okay, but catchup is in order!)

whaaa---??

salaams,

Okay, my EMAILS are not working. Plural. As in none of my passwords are working. And I can't get into facebooks. Uh-oh...

Happy

Assalamu Alaikum,

I'm still here. Still happy. Very busy alhamdulillah.

Later!

peace
TwennyTwo

free associating

Assalamu Alaikum,

Today is my father's birthday. I'm happy and blessed to still have him here. We went to dinner, sans JW, at one of his favorite restaurants. The food was okay, the conversation liberally seasoned with laughter. I wish it were that way all the time. Alhamdulillah for the good days.

I didn't go to work today, and I'm really frustrated with the fact that I couldn't get a strep test. I've been ill for some weeks, but my dr's office suggested that I go to the Urgent Care or an ED. For a strep test? I was a bit offended. Especially when, her partner wouldn't do the strep test either- he specialises in children. It's just funny to me that you must see thousands of cases of strep in a year, but you won't do a strep test on someone over the age of 18. Okay.

So now I either get to find a new office tomorrow morning for the purposes of the strep test (and to figure out what this is if it isn't strep- I've been ill more and less since Eid). I'm not returning to the doc I saw before, who decided it was necessary to voice her opinion on my hijab. No, thanks.

While at my sister's house I found a paper I had lost, with the email of a suitor on it... so I guess I am supposed to contact him. Make dua'a for me.

peace
TwennyTwo

What to say

Assalamu Alaikum,

Okay, yesterday I didn't know what to say.

Today I still don't, but it wasn't until today that it hit me.
Today I was sobbing in my car on my way to work. I can't believe it.

But I still don't have words for what I"m feeling. It's not elation. I think my first two voting experiences numbed me to elation after an election, you know?

Hey, the 20-year republican House representative of my Conservopolis district is out, that's a plus.

I think the future remains to be seen and is in the hands of Allah.

***

On other notes- I have some serious istikhara to make. So keep making dua'a for me, and thanks for sticking around. InshaAllah I'll be back soon.

Alhamdulillah! Election

Assalamu Alaikum,

I decided that since my absentee ballot never made it, that I'd vote early. I rose at fajr (yay Macs with the Guidance system!) and made my way over.

Imagine my surprise to find NO parking spaces and an hour and a half wait. Yes, I was in line at 6:15 and didn't vote until 7:53.


An African American PResident. Alhamduilillah.

peace
TwennyTwo

Prayer contemplatioGn etc

Assalamu Alaikum,

Today started out well and ended regrettably. I'm glad I remembrered to blog about it. Yay- 3 days in a row for NaBloPoMo! Let's see how far I go.


Here's my reminder that came of the more stressful things in my day:

1. Males as well as females need to be educated on pregnancy and the choices that lead to and through it. I cannot say more but um just REALLY take that one heavily, okay?

2. Everybody go write a will right now. This is sunnah. Many of the companions of the Prophet, may Allah grant them peace, would go and deliberately take care of their affairs before they went into battle, as the Prophet (saws) directed. In his last days, the Prophet himself went to the masjid and asked if anyone still had a debt upon him.

Write a will and tell SEVERAL people you'd trust with your life about where it is adn the provisions in it. This goes DOUBLY if you have descendants, I don't care if they are of age or not. You need to tell someone how you want your remains disposed, you need to say what should happen to any inheritance you should leave behind, you need to designate your charity portions, you need to HAVE YOUR DEBTS PAID OFF. My friends, when I heard the lesson about how one is not supposed to be buried until his debts are paid, and how if he is then he feels the torture of the grave and the person who has the debt will still have that right over him on the day of judgment, please believe I was chilled.

I don't want to go into the conversation that led to this statement, but know that I have bugged and will continue to bother my halqa leaders until they give us an Islamic will-writing conference; meanwhile I have drawn up papers detailing who and how my remains and any funds (ha!) I leave will be distributed. I'm living for tomorrow, but in cas eI don't live THROUGH tomorrow I'm straight... inshaALlah.

3. Friends who don't let friends unwillingly stay single ROCK.

heh heh- on that note I'm publishing before the day is over!

peace
TwennyTwo

Whoo-hoo, day Two

Assalamu Alaikum,

It has been a long day. No, that's not a pun on the time change, but I'm happy about that, too.

My goal for this month (because I have nothing to do, right, what with teaching tutoring halaqas and now classes) on a personal level is to de-clutter- take two things out of my room for every 1 thing I purchase or have to bring in. I'm so tired tonight that I started a load of clothes and just plopped in the bed, but the next several months will require me to push through the tired, so I may as well begin now.
I did clean out my car, though, and that was a major accomplishment.

I'd appreciate your dua'a through this week; I've been sick and now really don't feel well; unfortunately I have to return to work tomorrow instead of staying home as was my inclination because Tuesday are parent-teacher conferences, and wednesday is our state inspection. I've got some cleaning I want to get done on Tuesday and lesson planning for Monday, so between those I don't get a break until Thursday unless I am suddenly paralysed, Allah forbid. inshaAllah khair.

I've got to decide how much pressure I want to put on myself and how much I will keep accepting from outside. I learned as a young child that wanting something was bad- and now I'm fighting both unmotivation (is that a word?) and entitlement. How do you fight those? By just doing it, picking up and setting goals - and by giving back to other people.

So that's what I'm working on starting now...

peace
TwennyTwo

NaBloPoMo

Assalamu Alaikum,

Wow, NaBloPoMo is back. This is national blog posting month, in which you post every single day for a month.

I make no promises, but am starting out in good faith. Today was... I feel like I got nothing done toward MY goals today, just everyone else's.

But there's a social event at the downtown mosque today that I"m going to. So I'll do that, and moon over the fact that my Baji is sick. (Anyone have any cures for nausea that don't involve ginger? Or eating a cracker/dry carb before you sit up in bed? That and accupuncture is all I got. I'm pretty sure she's unhappy but since she's not talking... I thought I'd ask for help.)

One day. I make no promises, but here's the intention.

peace
TwennyTwo

AS I was saying...

October 31st Excitement

Assalamu Alaikum,

My students are going on a field trip today, and then returning to the school later tonight for the annual October 31st Game Night. Their parents have been hyping them up for both (which is in the Official Job Description of a parent so I'm not bad), and I'm looking forward to the trip. I love my little ones, and this year as with last I have some joyful as well as challenging personalities, it'll be fun to see them enjoy (or just encounter) a different environment.

Now, I have no problems with Game Night being every year on the same night, even the night that it is. I do have problems with the *ahem* fitna that comes with this particular day, every year. As a teacher, I stand with and actively promote the school policy, which is that there is no celebration of any non-Muslim holiday in the school, and the only Muslim holidays are the two Eids. Anything else we take a break for is federally mandated (e.g. the reason for Thanksgiving and winter breaks). And I truly feel that, even at the age I teach, this is the best thing for my classroom. All the children are happier for it, and no one is left out.

That says, I've had to be really resolved to not condemn the celebration of other holidays, either. I don't want feelngs hurt that way, either, since several of my students have a non-muslim parent or live in families that have more relaxed views of holidays. I ran into this with the celebration of the Prophet's birthday. And um, yeah, I was like- that's not Eid! My assistant at the time had to remind me that, um, some people will try to hurt you if you tell that to their kids! Ohhhh-kay. So the line was that, we don't celebrate birthdays at school- at all. And the children understood that, even if the parents didn't.

I'm not a parent so the issue is pretty much moot on a personal note. I personally will not celebrate it with my children, I don't think. (note the cya I don't think because I have no idear if/who I will marry, that one is still up to Allah.) I'm not exercised about it; I'm just opting to follow what I've been taught of the sunnah and not participating. A family gathering on that day is okay with me, as is Game Night- do something with people of like mind, y'know?

I feel the same way about the elections coming up. I volunteered a while ago to work in Spanish with a certain candidate. I think it was because I temporarily lost my mind. I'm just refusing to get all exercised about it. I will try to meet up with them since I said I would... but if it continues to be a problem I won't be mad. I know I'm going to VOTE but I'm not screaming about my choice of candidate. And I'm certainly not telling the world who my choice is- that's no one's business but my own. That viewpoint I caught (heh, like a cold) from my parents, who have probably been for a certain party since before I was born. Do you know I have never heard them (I mean EVER) identify with any party? I don't know half of their views because we just don't discuss it. My mother put the point on it the other day: "I remember when we were still fighting to vote. Nobody needs to know what I think either way." One of my colleagues was shocked when she straight asked me, "Are you voting Obama?" and I said it wasn't something I talked about. I must've grown two heads, y'all. I know some people feel they can't vote at all Islamically, and that's bunk too. There's no hadith that says we can't exert our influence to say who will be our leaders- ESPECIALLY since we don't live under a khalifa. (Yes, I just lit that firecracker.)

So yes, I'm excited about today, and yes I'm excited about the vote, but you won't catch me screaming about it. Who'd'a thunk it?

peace
TwennyTwo

And Then

Assalamu Alaikum,

... and then JW comes in and tells me that he has found his religion and it has nothing to do with God.

I tell you, I was MEANT to make dua'a for patience and deliverance today. It HAD to happen. This is my only explanation.

Hugs accepted.

peace

Eid Mubarak 1429

Assalamu Alaikum,

Eid Mubarak.

Eid is wonderful, a celebration, a time of joy. A time off the job. A time of respite.

I'm sad and I don't like Eid very much. After the first day I'm bereft. No meal to wait for as the sun's last rays disappear. No tarawih prayers to make the night bright, to lift the heart. No seeing friends and loved ones every day. No special reason for everyone to exercise more patience, more love. Ramadhan is over.

So Eid is bittersweet for me, spiritually. I want Ramadhan to last all year. As a convert I feel that I lose my family, the closeness, for eleven months out of the year. That's not quite true. But the larger sense of community- the people I saw only during Ramadhan will disappear back into their lives agagin. I miss them already.

I know I'm supposed to be happy. I am. I am. I am, I protest.

I hope to find blessings in this Eid, and I wish the same to you.

peace

Plain language, clear choices

Assalamu Alaikum,

Alhamdulillah, it has been a great Ramadhan. I can't and won't complain. I've enjoyed iftars and tarawih prayers, and even 'itikaf. I wanted to do that tonight but looks like it won't happen- I'm being tested by a bad cold. Please make dua'a for me.

As a matter of fact, something happened when I made istikhara that I want to share with you. I don't have a lot of time just now (JW is coming with me to iftar (!) and I need to go pick him up), but let's just say that my prayer was answered, clearly, tacitly, and QUICKLY. Like an hour after I made it. I had no doubts, so this is just me being a witness to the glory of Allah, subhana wa ta'ala. I really feel that I've been blessed with more trust this month, and inshaAllah I'm doing what I can so that I build on it through the year. Someone wrote that our deen is a living thing, that it builds and ebbs, and that this is to be expected. I hope and pray, then, that my ebb does not conquer the heights I've reached. I am happy.

Because my istikhara was answered so clearly I was encouraged and made more prayer and asked about Farhan, who's been around a lot more lately. Please make dua'a that Allah's will be made clear.

I wanted to make a comment on the political situation here in the US of A just now. I wish someone would state exactly what is going on in plain language. While I was an international affairs major in college, I did have to take Econ twice. The second time (I never failed, just fell below my school's criteria for IA majors) I was at home and my father took the time to explain everything in everyday, cost, cause and effect terms that I understood.

So I want the same for this whole bailout deal. Someone, please break it down for me. I feel stupid because this is the one area of weakness for me and it's important- or at least, all over the news. Jazak Allah khair in advance for your comments or pointing to clear resources.

The other thing I wanted to share was the title of a book lent to me by Bro. Leader: 15 Ways to Increase Wealth by Abu Ammar Yasir Qadhi. It's the kind of title I'dve' passed right by but he pressed it into my hand as I was leaving his and May's house after an iftar. MashaAllah, it's awesome- talking about halal and haraam income and how these can lead to big results either way. It's opened my eyes, so I'm recommending it... let me know if you've heard of other books like this, financial or not.


I'm making dua'a for you all- please leave any requests, esp. if I know you personally, in the comments or in my email box. May you all find Laylat ul Qadr with increased ibadah and may your fasts and efforts be accepted by our Lord, amin.

peace
TwennyTwo

Half gone...

Assalamu Alaikum,

Ramadhan has been a blessing as always, though sometimes the blessings come in the form of tests.

Conservopolis got hit with the remnants of Hurricane Ike as it passed through the upper Midwest, leaving not much rain in our area, but wind that knocked trees into roads and houses (!), and leaving schools in 10 counties with holidays. Looks like we'll be back tomorrow, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't benefited from the rest. I took advantage of the time to get a few more things sorted with my science courses at Conservopolis Technical. Just a couple weeks and some FAFSA forms and I'll be on my way to a master's degree. Alhamdulillah.

JW is doing well, actually came to an iftar after being invited by Bro. Leader this past weekend. I always enjoy spending time with their family, and this was no exception. JW invited his (very Christian) 'girlfriend' who shares a name with our sister, and that was interesting. She didn't ask very many questions, just watched with eyes wide open. She's a good girl, as Sis. May noted; and while we all know that no woman can change any man, (that is Allah's power) I hope she sticks around. He likes her; she's a cool person who has calming influence. We'll see.

Speaking of that family, Sonny left for the middle east right after the start of Ramadhan. His sister is mad excited that he'll be closer to her; he's going to study Arabic and the deen and will be gone a year. I'm happy for him (wish for your brother what you wish for yourself is true here) and at the same time glad he'll be gone. InshaAllah he is guided to knowledge. One of my girl friends who is supposed to go study in the same country won't be leaving until December, after all, and I'm glad to have the time with her. May Allah continue to bless her. She's so patient, kind, and such a student of Islam, I'll miss her when she goes.

Hmph and then Bilal said his version of Ramadhan mubarak over the Facebook. Alhamdulillah for being a grownup. It's been 5 years since we all graduated from college. I miss DC, I miss the good times and the good people I met there. Being at ISNA a couple weeks ago, I ran into so many sisters and brothers who were my companions on the way to Islam. Bilal was one of those, as is D, as is Koonj for that matter. Few are the true friends I keep in contact with- so of the others? I thank Allah for them... but I'm purposely putting one foot in front of the other daily, away from them. At least during Ramadhan the straight path doesn't seem as lonely.

*sigh*. I'm trying to be good so I'll move on from that topic (Sonny and crew, Bilal, D), won't I?

It's such an awesome experience to actually keep up with each Juz every day. I've been using Qur'an explorer (script works best with IE, be forewarned) to recite them with the English meaning daily, then going to tarawih when I can, nights. I'm developing a preference for one tarawih; the qari is so deliberate, reciting with feeling, mashaAllah. For a while my funds were low, and I got unexpected benefit from having to visit a certain masjid. There are some awesome sisters there, we're getting to know one another.


I guess what I'm saying is that I'm here, and I'm okay, and I hope your Ramadhan is even more blessed than mine, amin.

peace
TwennyTwo

Ramadhan Mubarak!

Assalamu Alaikum,

Well. Little time to say it, lots to say.

This year was my unique opportunity to bring in Ramadhan at ISNA. I love me some ISNA. When I was a teen I did the NAACP national Convention every year; I have graduated to the ISNA-itis. I was there, you probably saw me if you were there, and just didn't know it.

And, I met UmmZaid! That was mad cool. She could've been all shady and acted like she didnt' know me, and she didn't , we hugged, and I'm glad to see the face in front of the mind I love to read. InshaAllah we'll meet again.

I also met HijabMan, he's funny. I meant to go back to his booth and just ran out of cash (ISNA bazaar is not a joke, ya'll) so when I get paid (inshaAllah) I'll be over there pestering him to send me merch through the internet. I want the shirt that says Muslims love Jesus, too. So to the point.

I had the opportunity to explain just that to one of the workers at the convention center. He asked me, do ya'll have Jesus? And I really enjoyed the 10 minutes we took to speak. InshaAllah he'll be guided.

I also feel so loved after that convention. There was a point where I couldn't walk from one end of the hall to the other, for meeting someone I knew and hadn't seen in years. I needed that boost. It was sooo good to see my friends, my peoples I loved so well while in school, the forgiving and the loving. Man. When we get it right we Muslims really are trying to be closer to Allah and it shows.
I'm begininng to understand this about myself: that I need to feel loved like other people need to look good, or other people need to eat good food, or other people need to seek Allah. How I connect that to Islam and taqwa is my challenge moving forward.

I found a Qur'an that suffices. It doesn't have the fancy notches, but it does have the large print. Alhamdulillah!

It's back to earth now. I've been up too long; and I"m investing in some eye cream because this Ramadhan, with school starting tomorrow, promises to be short on that sleep stuff *groan*. May your fasts and deeds be accepted, may you be guided to remain on the straight path, may Allah bless you and your loved ones in all you do,amin. Ramadhan Kareem!

peace
TwennyTwo

Qur'an help! Okay Internets- your turn!

Assalamu Alaikum,

Where can I find a 'large-print'(NOT just large Size) Uthmanic Arabic-only Qur'an? I saw one at the masjid the other day that made me drool. Let me explain:

One of the hardest things for me this past summer at Fawakih was struggling to read the Qur'an, both aloud and to myself, consistently. Our tajweed class literally drove me to tears.

It did help when we sisters were allowed to take the course from a sister who has ijaza instead of in front of the whole world. But I figured out that my real problem had more to do with the whole struggle itself to SEE and capture what I was reading.

See, Arabic script in nearly every Qur'an I've seen has been MUCH smaller than comparable typeface. SO not only do I have to remember the sounds that go with the letters and how to string them together properly, and THEN read with the proper hukm/rules (ha ha, sorry, just remembered the way our Algerian sheikh would ask us, 'Wha' tha hukm?'), I also have to fight just to SEE what I'm reading with every dot and haraka correct. In Arabic, the dots make a difference. It's not like leaving the dot off a lower-case letter I in English. Beyond the ordinary frustration, reading and missing dots and having to concentrate intensely on every. single. word-it's extraordinarily tiring.

And the ordinary frustration is great- I'm one of those people who read whole lines at a time in Latin script (English, Spanish, Portuguese- doesn't matter). Arabic flipped the script for me because I can't 'capture' and understand the words, because I don't know vocab. I don't understand what I'm reading. So it flies right out of my head until I get it explained. I find it a lot easier to memorize Qur'an while driving and repeating back what a passenger recites to me, for example, than reading it or sitting in front of a computer listening to it.

So I end up asking a ton of questions. My teacher would ask me to 'just memorize it, it doesn't matter if you understand it'. Huh? That's a poor and last-ditch way to retain knowledge if you ask me. Sure, if all you're trying to do is preserve the way the sounds go through the generations, that's what you do. Anyway.

Since it's rare that I actually have someone in the car to recite the Qur'an to me and then explain what it's about (Thanks, Emad and Waheed), I've been trying to take time out of my day to read it to myself. I have Qur'an translations as well as a transliteration (which I don't like to use), so I'm okay with meaning. My problem is reading the actual arabic.

So then, the other day at the masjid I saw a musHaf that made me drool. I COULD READ THE SCRIPT. The words were relatively large (I'd say about a 14 pt font?) and uncrowded on the page. It had colored tajweed script (not the highlight blocks that drive me nuts). The top and sides were color-notched and labeled according to Surah AND Juz. And it was hardback. It was one of those moments when you can almost see the beam of light shining down from the heavens- THIS! This was exactly what I needed! It was so easy to read! And to find the surahs I already knew in English! MashaAllah! I spent an hour in the masjid just reciting with that mushaf.
Of course, it belongs to the masjid.

So. Does anyone know where I can get my hands on a Qur'an of this sort? I'm willing to forego the (awesomely excellent) juz and surah notching, and even the tajweed rules. But a Qur'an of this type, for someone whose eyes aren't that good/a beginner in reading Arabic is something I'm willing to pay for. I've searched a lot of web sites, and what I've found are large SIZED mushafs, with script the same as everywhere else, not helpful. Please lend me your expertise!

Also, I'll be at ISNA, so if you know for a fact that there's a certain vendor there who'll have these or know of them, let me know.

Thanks!

peace,
TwennyTwo

Race You

Assalamu Alaikum,

So, didn't sleep much last night. This would make up for the fact that I pretty much slept around the prayer times all day yesterday. That's a neat knack to have if it weren't for the fact that I probably should've been up doing things yesterday. I'm not sick, alhamdulillah, but I think a couple things have me a little bit down. One, is a particular man who is exploring the idea of marrying me. The other is the concept of race and how far we've not come on it in this ummah. Sigh.

The man? Was around before that last post of mine. I'm getting a strong 'no' feeling after istikhara and a pretty uneasy and forgettable conversation with him. I don't want to go into it too much here. Just want to note for my own memory that I have this uneasy feeling about him. I'm fighting myself because I don't want to be biased against him without having really met him, when there are a couple of things I could be biased against. I guess I want to give him a fighting chance when something else slightly irrational but true-to-me is saying 'nuh-unh'.

The race thing is, I guess, the flip side of that particular coin. I've been here in Conservopolis a year. And while I've got some friends, they aren't the close-close kind of friends. A very few confidants who are trustworthy. And I trust them because they will make un-politically correct remarks around me. They've let me put my foot in my mouth, too. Certain people, make me think I want to hold them at arms' length, but that isn't the way to maintain friendships, is it? Still. That crew of women who are around my age I find particularly frustrating. One moment they're calling me sweetheart and the next I'm ignoring the fact that there are several gatherings I wasn't invited to being mentioned in my face. Sigh. If I were included I'd have something else to be mad about so I'm gonna stick to the ones who are true: the 30 something moms. For some reason, maybe because they have neither time nor intention to BS me, I'm easier around them.

Then we have the whole dark skin thing. I find it hilarious and at the same time frustrating to be summarily dismissed on first impression because of my skin color and cultural background. Equally funny and maddening to have myself subjected to every stereotype about African Americans simply because I am one. From my teacher at the beginning of the summer to some rude teens at a party the other day, I've seen it and had to have some patience on it.

The patience is always rewarded when the children of the community, my students, no matter what color they are, run and tackle my knees as soon as they see me. Some of these children have begun parroting the 'you're darker, not pretty' belief at me, but their love belies the indoctrination. To have to interrupt my conversation with an adult to direct my attention three feet lower to a (non-African American, paper-bag test passing) child gleefully screeching, "Miss Two! Miss Two!" and watching the adult's expression 'lighten' is better than any fight I could fight.

I wish I could convey that through the internet.

I have to go to work, or I'd finish this. There's another telling thing: I do NOT want to go back to work under one of the admins at my school (no point in singling one of them out). And I don't want to go back, period. This'll change, I'm sure, when I"m in the middle of selecting shiny new posters, laminating borders and arabic cards, making nametags and cubby pictures for my students. Teaching at this level is a very fun line of work; but it is a line of work. InshaAllah I'll be one of those who either finds work that isn't like working, things I think about late at night and can't wait to get to in the morning, or I'll be finally able to make my home that work, and I'll only have to account to my Lord for my days. That? Would be awesome.

peace
TwennyTwo

YOU are now officially everyone and their mama

Salaam Alaikum,

Rejection stinks. This is true. It happened when I was surrounded by about 100 teenagers, 9 of whom I was responsible for. Know what? That helped me get over it all the quicker. It wasn't easy, but the kids gave me a great excuse to not be around them for a couple of hours (they played a prank on the counselors, so I needed to go change my clothes) and I got in the pimp car (which, btw, had been scraped earlier by one of the campers' cars that week- now I have to paint it) and drove in it and stopped in the dark and thought dark thoughts and talked to God before returning to see the girls to sleep. When I was done I was raw, when I woke the next morning I was absolutely okay with the whole thing. Whew.


Moving along- someone else has asked about me. Most obvious draw: he's definitely established in life, has worked a couple of careers, and people I trust know him pretty well. Most obvious drawback? He's around 16 years older than I am.

*sigh* make dua'a please. Really. I'm serious. Even just a 'Allah, please give that sister who calls herself Twenny guidance amin' will help greatly.

That, and um if I haven't stated it baldly enough, I am pretty serious about getting married. So if you know me and you know somebody, mention me. All suggestions will be entertained.

Yeah, this guy said it pretty well, entertain yourself for 9 minutes of your life:




MYNA Camp was wonderful, mashaAllah. I had a relatively small cabin, with roughly the same age group- a little younger. There were challenging personalities and deep personalities. My assistant, A, was the head counselor for the girls, and another very good friend was also counselor. And really, I get along pretty well with all of the counselors who were there. There are certain ladies with whom I have ... an ambivalent relationship. And all of these women are pretty prominent, or rather from prominent and established families in the Conservopolis community.

The ones I don't mix well with were not there. You know I said alhamdulillah for that, and made dua'a for them as well since the reasons for their absences were very sad. It's weird. Just because we don't get along doesn't mean I don't wish them the best. This grownup thing takes getting used to.

The theme of the camp meant that we spent a LOT of time talking about the characteristics of Jennah and Jehennam. There were a couple of repeat speakers, including one of the organizers and one of the coordinators of the Fawakih program. Plus, people from the program itself came to visit, a welcome surprise.

The highlights of my week, besides community prayer all day every day, were the swim sessions (yay all-girls swimming, TWICE), being able to float and really listen to all of the kids responses and ideas in the various programming workshops, and the calligraphy workshops. InshaAllah men are really as oblivious as we think because Sonny's brother was the calligraphy teacher. (Now that I think on it, his wife may have told him I was interested anyhow. I don't want to ponder that anymore.) He didn't have ijaza, just experience in the past, but I enjoyed his very straightforward approach to teaching and positive criticism. Alhamdulillah I learned a lot, though, and it's something I may actually want to pursue. Conservopolis doesn't have any teachers, so that'll take doing. We'll see.

ISNA is coming, and I go back to teaching next week. This year, how it has flown!

peace
TwennyTwo

Around

Assalamu Alaikum,

I'm here. Working to get my life back on track, is all. And Sunday I leave for MYNA camp, yay! So inshaAllah you are all well and healthy. I guess perhaps I'll be back to more regular blogging when school is in (and thus my vacation is over, sigh).

peace
TwennyTwo