So I was over at the Renegade Rebbetzin's spot, and was reading her rant, which is actually kinda similar to Shabana's a couple weeks ago, about how people do for others based on their particular needs and wants.
the point of ??? is to do things for other people, not because you want to or you can, but because they need it, period, and for no reason other than that. ~Renegade Rebbetzin
The word in hebrew is chesed, which is like, um, giving loving kindness (and is much better explained by RenReb herself in the article.
Both of these wonderful ladies make me take a good hard look at myself. Yes, I have needs of others. But the real question is, Whose needs am I really in touch with, and am I providing to them what they need? OR what I'm willing to give?
Because, to respond to a part of what each of them has said, I know I'm guilty of providing and giving and sharing with others only what is convienient for me. (Which is why I thought at one point that Shabana was talking to me, and thought, well, this shoe is mighty comfy, huh? Maybe I shouldn't be so mad about that, but just go ahead and change.) Until they quite loudly spoke up about it, I was perfectly willing to quash my awareness of that. Now I can't. Thank you very much.
And it ocurred to me just now that I might be receiving more of what I need from others if I were attending first to what others need from me. Instead of hiding inside myself and my nafs (and that's a whole 'nother post).
Short example: I find myself growing more and more depressed what with the happenings of the past few weeks and the lack of a job and a concrete decision about my school. And I wish people would call me to hang out. Or do things. Then, I think on how many people I could be calling, and, well, maybe it's a silly argument. I don't want to trivialize how I feel or depression in general. The articles just led me in that direction.
Every day is a true struggle for me to REALIZE what I'm doing and thinking and to be honest with myself about my reactions and actions. How about you?