I don't even know what to call this

assalamu alaikum,

Been a while, huh?

I hope everyone is doing well.

I want to be upbeat, but really, I'm out of sorts.

As positive as I was about staying at the school where I'm currently working, events of the past week have made me seriously reconsider. I think what I'm going to do is find out which classes I'm missing for licensure in this state, and then see if I can take them this summer.
I hate job hunting like fire, second only to moving (and they're really different forms of the same thing), but I'll do and have done both. If I have a teaching license I can work in public school (= much more pay and an environment that, while not islamic, is one I'm used to) or I can stay at the Islamic school but with much more leverage. Because, get this, the admin offered my assistant the lead teacher position last week- the same week they'd both ticked me off royally and then told me that I'd be moving to the upper school next year. While I wasn't thrilled, I was much less sanguine when I heard from my assistant that they'd rescinded the offer because there're no places in the upper school for me to go- a teacher who said she'd move isn't doing so. Great. Aside from the pettier stuff that upset me in the first place, now you're jerking people's positions around publicly. I say, just sit on that stuff until you have contracts up (or not). Argh.

Or, get this suggestion from my mother this morning, I could return to la isla this summer and take the few courses I needed in order to finish a certification or master's degree there. Plus, I mean, summer in portareeco! Sounds like a vacation I could definitely use. I miss my friends and the warmth of that place deeply.

I'll have to figure it out financially, but I should just about be able to swing it. I'm tutoring after school and on weekends now, with children much older than my daily preschool set. I get to work with older students, they get to learn and review what they need for school, and apparently what I charge is a bargain. Works for everyone. Excellent.

My classes had their field trip yesterday, mashaAllah! They had a great time. I think I want to go again- around 6 kids didn't go, and all of the adults agreed that we needed more time there. I took one child who is three handfuls, and while i was dealing with her, one of the others in my group wandered off- twice. The first time I nearly had a heart attack thinking of him and where he was and what I'd tell his mom- and as soon as i reported him missing to the booth, he turned up. Whew! They did have a great time, and that's what counts. I'm sorry I didn't get them to do it earlier.

When, inshaAllah, I run this half-marathon in May, I'll be very undertrained, so much so that I'm already making dua'a just to finish. I'll finish no matter how long it takes me. Things keep popping up, serious stuff that stresses me out and pushes me off-schedule. I really really really want to do this, though. So I may start undertrained and just pray through. I don't want to be in too much pain afterward, though,but I mean... when I was running and training in the full of summer before I had no issues. I just need to get up to a high number of miles in training again.

D called me the other day. He wanted to let me know about the invite he recieved to Rabbit and Bay's wedding. I think he was also fishing to know if I got one. I didn't. I don't know how I feel about that except that I'm still thinking about it, which can't be good. The phone call, and the non-invite. *sigh*. That call was the first time D called me since I left DC. He generally doesn't call me unless something's bothering him (ha- and I thought I wasn't a good listener) or something's going on with our old college crew, Rabbit and Bay included. I said a while ago that the biggest problem with D is that he isn't Muslim, and I mean that, so while I was happy to hear from him... I was almost ambivalent, too. Allahu Alim. I'ont need to be talkin to no mens anyhow. I'm still making dua'a on marriage.

Hee hee hee. Oh man. That reminds me. I went to a seminar/lecture/talk tonight about managing finances islamically. While it was good, it was more about generally how to manage finances, and less about where to actually put your money now that you know what's halal and what's haraam about investing and owning(NOT saving!) especially here in the western part of the world. InshaAllah they're going to have a whole series on this stuff, so my questions'll be answered then.

Yeah, so my crush was there tonight. TOTALLY wasn't expecting that one. I hope I wasn't rude, I tend to be very cool in public to keep my blushes under control. I should've known there was a huge chance he'd be there, his family's big in the particular masjid where the lecture was being held- he's related to the speaker, in fact. But I haven't thought about him in a while. Sooo glad I'm not pale, SubhanAllah, I'd've been tomato red, ya'll. I straight asked his sister if he's 'looking' and found out that he kind of is but not really, since he's thinking about going to the ME soon. Some of y'all may know him so I won't get into it, but. Hmm. Maybe that's my sign to be looking elsewhere.

Anyway. Got that off my chest. Happy March- inshaAllah I'll write again before the end of the month!

peace
TwennyTwo