Sunday, January 04, 2009

My Fairy Tales

Assalamu Alaikum,

Most of my friends- I mean, a good deal- are married (or coupled and nearly married up... lookin' at you, Meke). And all of the women will tell you that the first thing I ask about is how they got together. I call those stories my 'fairy tales'- even if they're no happily ever after story, they're always good for a sigh and a smile.

The story of Michelle Obama is no exception:

My friend A. has warned me, 'Don't go talking about this to everyone! This is private!' And I took her nasiha at first, because she was right in that not all ears are attached to those who are looking out for my best interest. But at the same time, it's just hard for me NOT to talk about the things that interest me; so when you're around me you hear about preschool learning activities, microbiology and midwifery, and marriage. And alhamdulillah, I think that especially in this cuture, in the US, the pot that squeals gets poured. If I don't put it out there that I love my students, that nursing and the whole process of birth interest me, and that I want to get married, how will opportunities make themselves known?

Today at halaqa we talked about Hasad, and jealousy, and the evil eye, and how nothing that happens to us happens, except by permission and will of Allah. And that just as we are working within time with our tools of free will, good deeds, and dua'a to ask Allah to give us good, we can't understand just how fully Allah is outside of time, and created free will, and wants us to ask for what he already gave. It was deep.

And since I was sitting close to Bro. Leader, I looked down at my behennaed hands while he talked. I've found that the American respect of looking people in the eye when they're talking doesn't always translate well into intimate Islamic study circles... and when I looked up, Farhan was sitting across from me. I was startled. And got flustered... could this be the beginning of my own fairy tale? I gazed at my hands again, and made dua'a that Allah's will be made clear. When I looked up again, Farhan was gone. And Bro. Leader had returned to the topic of the goodness of Allah's rizq, in that he has written not only what he willed, but what we ask for.


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